Six Months

February 20, 2011 By 6 Comments

July 11, 2003 One of the Last Pictures of Me with my Dad

I didn’t know it at the time but on February 20th, 2003 (or so) – I would hear news that would forever change my life. It was an honor actually, but when I was hearing it, I felt it was anything but an honor.

I was with my Dad at the hospital when the cardiologist came in to see him that morning. I knew my time with my Dad was limited, but what I was about to hear pierced through my heart like a dagger.

“John, if there is anything you want to do, do it now.” I looked at the doctor and simply uttered “excuse me?”

The doctor went on to explain that my Dad’s heart was only functioning at 13% or so and that it would not last more than 6 months at the very most. He told my Dad to do what he wanted to do, have what he wanted to have and take this time to get things in order. My body was numb, my heart was in shock.  I remember wanting to cry out that 35 years is not enough time to spend with him. I had leaned up against the wall, to steady myself and the doctor asked me to step outside. He informed me that with my Dad’s diabetes, that the sore on his foot would not heal and would contribute to his death as well – painfully so. He assured me that when the time come, he would call hospice in and make “it” as painless as possible. My heart agonized over the fact that I would not be able to stop this, that I would not be able to stop the pain and I would have to spend each and every moment with him that I could.

The doctor asked me if I was OK, and I simply nodded. We went back inside the room and he informed us that he’d be in there another day. The doctor left, I sat on the edge of the bed, wondering what was running through my Dad’s heart. As I sat there, numb, my Dad spoke…asking me “Well, Daughter…..what do you think?”  I immediately looked at him, eyeball to eyeball.  Here I was wondering about him…and HE was wondering about me.  Unbelievable.  I kept looking at him and said “I think I’m going to miss you soooooo much.” I sat quietly on the bed with him for a little bit.  Gently crying because I didn’t want to upset him to much, but there was no way I could hold in the tears.

Again, at the time, I didn’t consider being with him to receive that kind of news an honor, but now I know beyond doubt that it was a priceless gift that I would not trade for the world.

Not everyone gets a six month warning to get their affairs straight, do what they want to do, see whom they want to see and so on. But he almost did. I had the difficult task to start making the calls. To tell my sister and brothers and step mom what I had just found out. I wanted anyone that wanted to see him, hug him and tell him just how special he was to have the chance to do so and time was of the essence.

As Dad got weaker, I moved in to help take care of him. I organized my work schedule to where I would work in the late afternoons or at night and help Angie take care of him during the day. I slept when he did and enjoyed many midnight egg sandwiches with him. It never bothered me that he could only eat a bite of the sandwich.

You may wonder why I’m sharing this with you. My Dad didn’t get the full six months. He died on July 20th, 2003. We made sure that he laughed every chance he could and sometimes he simply laughed because he caught me and Angie “discussing things” between “ourselves” and we had NO clue he was awake.  We made sure that anyone that wanted to see him had the chance and we all had time with him to tell him just how much he meant to us. I asked several times if there was anything he wanted and no matter what it was, I’d make sure he had it. Even though he was at the point nothing much would stay down when it came to food.

If you found out that you only had six months, what would you do? Who would you see? What calls would you make?

My next question is WHY would you wait until you only have six months? Start doing what you want to do. You have life dreams! Start on them. No matter how slowly you think you may be accomplishing them, start on them NOW. One of my dreams is to visit all 50 states. When we look at vacations, we look at a state we have not been to. Make the list and start chipping away at it. One of my dreams is to publish a book.  In all of the spare time that I do not have, I’m slooooooowly chipping away at it.  Work on those dreams NOW.

Schedule a visit with those that you have not seen and make those calls. We live in a period where it’s easier now than ever to keep up with people we adore. Send the email, send the ecard or send the paper card. Tell those that are special to you just how special they are. Don’t wait until you find out that you don’t have much time left.

Do it now.

Six months is not long. Before we know it Christmas will be here again and it’s only February.

Work towards your dreams
Plan the visit
Make the call
Give the hugs freely

Say I love you.  Say it again.  Say it once more.

Do it now, don’t wait.

Tell me, what are some of your dreams you are working on.

Did you make the phone call, plan the visit or give the extra hugs?  I hope so, I truly do!

{{{{HUGS}}}} yall

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My Passion is Hindering My Passion

January 23, 2011 By 15 Comments

I love giving.  I love making a difference for others.  I love doing things as a surprise for those that I love as well as surprising complete strangers with Reese’s Cups and Little Debbie Cakes.  I can honestly say that giving and doing for others is a passion.

Spreading joy and encouraging others is a passion as well. I love reminding people that they ARE making a difference with a simple $10 donation, that they are making a change within their community when they volunteer their time and that they will see a difference by doing what they can – right where they are.

So………

Why am I not spreading the word about Spreading Joy?  Why am I not setting up meetings to encourage people and show them just how easy it is to make a difference without breaking the bank?  Why am I not trying to get my foot in the door of local corporations and churches?

Simple!  My passion for giving is hindering my passion for Spreading JOY.  I don’t have a “gift” to leave these people, I don’t have anything “physical” to leave them and I let that stop me from giving them what I can offer….and that is joy, encouragement and ideas for making a difference with little to no resources.

A friend of mine, Harry Tucker, and I were discussing passion.  He told me that passion could be a curse.  I kind of chuckled and thought there is no way.  Being passionate about something would help to get it done.  I asked him to explain how that could be and he said

Passion is a curse when many people are afraid of it.  It is a curse when it is bursting to produce results but is surrounded by apathy and indifference.  If not expressed outwards, it can turn inwards.

Little did I know that I would soon be living that statement…Passion is a curse.

Another friend of mine, Richard Mayhan has developed a site called Mercy Junction. One Roof – Countless Resources.  He is using this site to list all of the local places in his community that act as a resource for the needy. He includes things like food pantries, shelters, community dinners as well as National Hot-lines and other resources for those that are in need of assistance.  Brilliant idea!  He put hours upon hours of work into it.  Soon afterwards, he had an opportunity to share Mercy Junction with a group of men and did an amazing job. The reason I mention this is that as I was reading how the meeting went, it dawned on me that he went, presented his ideas and passion for helping others without so much as a business card to leave them  AND it was amazing!!  (I wasn’t there, but I’ve heard him speak – so I’m SURE it was fantabulous!)

I’ve told you all of that to tell you this….

I’ve decided that in this year, I am going to set up meetings to present Spreading Joy Corporation to various organizations in my area.  I’m going to offer encouragement to any church, civic group and ladies groups that will allow me to do so.  (If you’d like to discuss how I can encourage your group, please email me.)  I will start doing what I can, with what I have – right where I am; EVEN if I do not have anything to “leave with them.”  I am going to work on emailing various corporations and seeing if they will partner with me and help me make a difference and try and personally contribute more to Spreading Joy each month financially to aid in this.

I am not going to let NOT having anything to give stop me anymore.

I will remind people that “There’s no joy like Spreading Joy.”

I’m going to do what I can, where I am, with what I have and NOT feel guilty.  I am spreading joy and I am making a difference.

I’m going to help others in FINDING JOY as best as I can! How can I help you?  (click the finding joy link and see…)

{{HUGS}} yall

What is YOUR passion?  Has it been a tool to help push you into what you love or has it been a curse?  Is it bursting to see results and you just don’t know which direction to go?  Tell me….what are you doing with YOUR passion?

PS – you can follow Harry Tucker on twitter as @harrytucker and Richard Mayhan on twitter as @mcProdigal

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WHY

January 5, 2011 By 8 Comments

Why do we want what we cannot have

Why do we reach for what we can’t possibly get

Why do our hearts take us where our head knows we shouldn’t go

Why do we run towards trouble

Why do we have to be prodded to do right

Why is “IT” never enough

Why does the darkness bring pain

Why does yesterday seem to be forever ago

Why does tomorrow never come

Why does opportunity only knock once

Why does a grain of a mustard seed seem so HUGE

Why does today slip away unnoticed

Why does the sun not warm through the bitter cold

Why does “IT” matter to them

Why do we care what “they” think

Why do we feel like 100% is not as good as 120%

Why do we see the good in others before we see the great in ourselves

Why does it matter anyway

Why……

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30 Day Challenge Jan 2011

December 27, 2010 By 18 Comments

I love spreading joy to others, but more than that, I love how easy it is to get into the habit of spreading joy.  A new year is upon us and it is my goal to help you see just how easy it is to get into the habit of spreading JOY.

The 30 Day Challenge - ONE thing a day for someone else, on purpose.  That’s all it takes. It can be for family, friends or random people.  Your mind will be looking, thinking and preparing for ways of spreading joy in no time.  This can be anything to help make a difference.  It can be a smile, it can be an encouraging email or text message.

The sky is the limit here and it is NOT hard to do this. By the end of the month you’ll have gotten yourself into the habit of spreading joy and it will be a natural thing for you to do as you meander through your day. Being aware of opportunities is key and this challenge is designed to get you thinking and looking for ways to make a difference each day.

Here is the challenge.

Will you publicly join me in developing this habit of spreading joy?  If so, please let me know.  I’d like to add your name here to a list – so that I won’t forget who is joining me, but so that I can encourage you  too. If you are on twitter, please include your twitter name, cause I’m old and forgetful like that!

Together we can journal our daily acts of joy.  I will write in my journal each day about what was done and then every 3 days or so, come back here and update things in the comment section.  I would encourage you to do so as well.  This will encourage everyone that is participating.

I’ve done this challenge publicly before and here is a link to how it turned out.

I would love to hear how this challenge affected your daily outlook, if you had any troubles and just over all, how it made your heart feel, to think, plan and then execute this challenge.

Ideas to get you going:

  • Give away reesecups and Little Debbie Cakes randomly
  • Have a NO chore day for family
  • Leave the closer parking space for someone else
  • Purchase a book of stamps and mail to Spreading Joy
  • Recycle, recycle, recycle
  • Have a “Eat dessert first” night with your family.
  • Make a financial donation to Spreading Joy, see if your company matches charitable giving – 2 acts in one
  • Meet someone for coffee and purchase it for them.  Enjoy the chat.
  • Sign up for this challenge and invite others to do so as well!

There are some ideas to get you going. If you need more, don’t forget that there are a total of 100 ways of making a difference WITHOUT spending one single penny listed here and here on this web site.

Are you ready to take the challenge?  Are you ready to develop the habit of spreading joy?

Those taking the 30 day challenge:

@spreadingJOY

@smooth_stone

@GodsWordisTruth

@10thamendment

@LifeVerse

@sharritiner

@sweetshel

IF we all do just 1 act of JOY a day – so far we are up to 217 #actsofJOY for the month!! wow.  I’m so excited to be making a difference this way!! Thanks for JOYning me!!

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How I see YOU

December 20, 2010 By 11 Comments

Do You see What I See

I love speaking to ladies groups, kids and just encouraging others.  I’m hoping to do more of it in this next year.

I recently had the privilege of speaking to some wonderful ladies that have been or are in a local Battered Women’s shelter.  I spent the week thinking about some of what they may have endured, what they probably tried to do for them, their children and to bring peace to their home and focused on how those events made me see them.

Here is how I see these ladies.

YOU ARE:

BEAUTIFUL – Your beauty comes from deep within.  Nothing or no one can ever destroy it.  When you gaze into the mirror, look past the surface, go deeper….deeper still.  That beauty that is deep within you is ready to bubble up and gush out!  Let it bubble up and out freely.  Our physical beauty is limited, but the beauty that is deep within our soul outshines and out lasts the physical and has a positive effect on all of those around us! YOU are beautiful!

COURAGEOUS – Yes, YOU!  You lived in fear, you live with fear and have many fearful moments ahead of you, but look back with me a moment.  Look at how far you’ve come.  The courage you’ve shown to get out of the abusive situation and into something better is nothing short of amazing.  You’ll continue to move past the fears, move past the doubts and other horrors you face daily that will try and hold you back.  Your heart may tremble, your hands shake but you won’t let that stop you.  You can do this as YOU are courageous!

STRONG – You are strong! You’ve endured abuse that others can’t possibly imagine, and that takes strength.  You’ve tried to fix things, make things better and be the right kind of gal but that was never the issue.  You then stepped out, with children in tow and are working towards a better future. The strength it takes to be a single mom, to ease their fears, to show them what is right and good is unbelievable.  You are strong, you fight through difficulties, you fight to survive and you’ll push past the barriers that try and hold you down.  You will make it! YOU are strong!

WISE – Yes, I said wise!  Don’t sell yourself short.  We all make mistakes, we all make decisions that we wish we could take back and moments we wish we could order up a “do-over”!  Look at you! You are moving forward, learning and making things better. You are doing the right things right now! Don’t look back at the mistakes, unless you are choosing to grow and learn from them!  Hear me….YOU are wise.

CARING – You have amazing hearts!  You care so much.  That’s why you tried to work things out, why you sacrifice for your children, that’s why you are the wonderful person that you are.  Your heart is huge for others and you want to make a difference and believe me you DO!  YOU are caring!

PERSISTENT – You put one foot in front of the other each and every day.  I’m sure there are days where you feel like throwing up your hands and saying “what is the use”, but you move forward anyway.  You grow tired from the struggle, but you get out of bed and face the day.  You wonder about tomorrow, next month and next year, but you keep looking, hoping and knowing that the future is there, waiting on you to grab it up with both arms, embracing all the wonderful things that are waiting you.  You keep trying, learning and going! You push yourselves as well as push your children! YOU are persistent.

IMPORTANT – YES – YOU!!!  You make a difference every day!  You bring smiles, warm hearts with big hugs. You encourage, motivate and teach.  You give hope to little eyes that wonder about a million things a day and love to hearts that need it.  You are important to today and the next generation.  The great things that you are doing today, will have a huge impact on tomorrow and the future.  YOU are important.

CAPABLE – YOU can do this!  It is so easy to look and see the negative, see where we feel like we have failed and think we just can’t do it.  We don’t have to teach our children to see the negative, but we do have to teach them to see the positive, do what is right and look for opportunities to make a difference.  Use those negative things that creep into your mind, trying to make you feel horrible to remind yourself that you’ve learned from that. You’ve come a long way from that point and you are not going back, simply because you don’t have to.  Use the past to remind yourself that you are capable of moving forward, doing whatever it is you set your mind on doing.  YOU are capable.

ADAPTIVE – This is so important and you excel at it!  Think with me for a moment.  You knew when you had to keep the kids quiet, when you could let loose and enjoy the laughter in your hearts. You knew when “he” was home that certain things had to be done a certain way and you adapted.  When he wasn’t around, you lived, loved, laughed and adapted to that as well.  This is a priceless ability for when the storms of life are raining down on you.  This ability will serve you for years to come as you face the mountains in your way and your initial thought is for the mountain to “swallow me up, I can’t face you.”  You will adapt time and time again! YOU are adaptive.

SENSITIVE – Your hearts are tender and it grows stronger every day.  You’ve seen situations that many have not had to see, much less endure.  This has made you even more sensitive than most.  You can see the sadness in the eyes of a child quicker than most and know how to turn that frown upside down. You can see the loneliness oozing from the hearts of others and know that a simple hug and smile will help to ease that pain.  Because of this sensitivity, you have an opportunity to make dark days brighter; you have the chance to be the light at the end of the tunnel.  You can shine brighter than you ever thought possible.  YOU are sensitive.

SPECTACULAR – YOU are beyond awesome!  You have a huge heart, a loving spirit and the willingness to fight through whatever comes your way. You don’t ask for much, yet are willing to give all for your child.  You will take lesser portions, step in front of physical harm and remind your child that tenderness will get you further than being demanding and hateful.  You amaze me at the courage, strength and abilities you have to make it through each day. YOU are spectacular.

These attributes are evident in all of us if we look deep enough.  We tend to stop just short of the surface because that is what society is teaching us to do.  We need to look past the surface.  We need to look at the things that matter, which is far more than physical features.

It is my desire that as you step into a new year that you’ll be more aware of these wonderful qualities about you.  I hope that you’ll focus on the positive and grow from the negative. As you look at yourself, I hope that you’ll see all of these wonderful things in a wonderful new light this year – and always.

{{HUGS}} yall

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The Grace of Light: Compassion for the World

December 16, 2010 By 5 Comments

The Grace of Light: Compassion for the World

@stickyJesus: how to live out your faith online, by Tami Heim and Toni Birdsong, is a book about how to infuse God’s heartbeat into social networks. This post is part of the @stickyJesus Blog Tour of Light. You can follow @stickyJesus on Twitter, Facebook, or learn more about the book at www.stickyJesus.com

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light. – Ephesians 5:8

Do you remember what your life was like before you knew Christ? Do you remember the hours, days, and years you bumped around in the dark before He adopted you as a child of Light? Being Light to a broken planet requires you to daily re-connect to that unmerited moment when God came crashing in and redeemed your wreckage.

Compassion is a feeling of deep sympathy for another person so strong it compels you to alleviate the person’s suffering. Jesus put a human face on God’s compassion everywhere he went. It was compassion that healed the sick, raised the dead, and withheld wrath from those who betrayed Him.

For a criminal hanging on a Golgotha cross next to Jesus, compassion came just in time. As Jesus hung beaten, bloodied, and dying on the cross, two hardened criminals hung on crosses on each side of him. One mocked him while the other confessed his wreckage and called Jesus “Lord.”

‘. . .  for we receive the due reward of our deeds; but this Man [Jesus] has done nothing wrong.’ Then he said to Jesus, ‘Lord, remember me when you come into your kingdom.’ And Jesus said to him, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise.’ – Luke 23:39-43

Surprisingly, this condemned man demonstrated greater faith than many of Jesus’ own followers. As a result, a life swarming with sin was the first to be redeemed by the blood Jesus spilled that very day.

His was a Rubik’s cube of reasoning.

How can we get our minds around that kind of compassion? Didn’t Jesus have his own pain to think about? He was bludgeoned repeatedly and slowly suffocating. He was crying out to God for mercy. And, what if the man had committed some horrific crime?

“It’s alright,” you can almost hear Jesus assure heaven as he chased his last few breaths, “the crook’s with me.”

In Luke 23:33-34 Jesus shows mind-boggling compassion when he forgives and prays for those hammering nails into His hands and feet. And, enduring the cross, Jesus showed His greatest act of compassion for all of mankind.

How can we conjure up God-sized compassion and be Light to the lost when we can’t even let go of a grudge against a relative or forgive our spouse for an ancient offense?

We can’t. That is, we can’t if we’re really serious about being children of Light. It’s a higher calling; one that won’t bow to religion or man’s take on redemption. Jesus extends compassion to the needy, love to the unlovable, and grace to repeat offenders.

If you are running low on compassion this Christmas, get to the root of your lack quickly (preferably before the crowd shows up). Do things differently this time.

Revisit the moment God poured fresh, cool, extravagant compassion into the potholes of your life. Where were you when Christ tore the veil of your wayward heart once and for all? Was it so long ago? Ask Him to take you back to the scene of the rescue. Ask Him to resuscitate your heart.

Think of a person you know who is in need of your compassion. What keeps you from being compassionate to them? Make a list if you must. Then surrender that list to the King of compassion. He won’t condemn you. You see, His compassion for you is inexhaustible. He’s proven that.

Post/Tweet this today:

Surrender your wreckage to Christ. His compassion for you is inexhaustible. His mercies are new every morning. #LiveSticky

********************

My question for you:

Jude vs. 22 says and of some have compassion, making a difference. Are you part of the few that will make a difference with the compassion that is illuminating your heart?  Will you shine brightly for others while reflecting the light of HIS love?  Will you have the courage to be this compassionate light?

Remember, it only takes a spark to get a fire going!

Join us tomorrow for The Force of Light: Your Presence Here at Jason Hayes’ blog .

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Assumptions

November 24, 2010 By 13 Comments

It started with the book The Shape of Mercy and the main character assuming that someone was hired help by the way he was dressed when he was actually a friend of the family.  The book is about the Salem Witch Trials and all of the horrible assumptions there.

Next I hear it.  You’ve heard it and maybe even said it before.  “Well, you know how those people are.”  Oh, really?  Do I?  I literally shake my head and say, no…no I do not.

Assumptions are nasty things.  With the exception of when your son calls and says something like “Do you know I have the most beautiful Mom in the entire world?” By all means, assume he wants something and reply with “No, tell me how beautiful she really is.” And then smile and sit back and take in the wonderful words that are being said about you at that very moment.

If it’s not this situation, then assuming can be very harmful, dangerous and just plain wrong.  I honestly try and not assume things about people based on where they live, how they dress, what size they are or what kind of vehicle they drive.  When I meet someone, I immediately start looking at how their heart sees things.  I want to see things through their eyes, but again, I do not assume to know or understand how or why they see things the way they do. I try to live by this and make it a rule. I don’t assume things about people based on surroundings.

Many people assume that just because someone says they are a Christian that they truly are.  Unfortunately many people speak the language, but don’t walk the talk and this is very misleading. Others think that if a non-believer asks questions that they simply want to debate. Again, this is not always a correct assumption.  Many people that ask questions are simply seeking the truth and shame on us for not giving it without assuming they want an argument.

I could go on and on here.  So many assumptions are made about people based on their size, place of employment and such.  Why do we do this?  Why do we assume things without taking the time to see things through the eyes of others or even try to understand where people are coming from?

We’ve all had our moments where things were better, where we looked better, felt better, dressed better. We’ve all had moments where we were proud to be who we are and held our head high.  The opposite is true, we’ve all had our moments where the worst part of our being has shown through and we’d love to take it back and undo the damage we’ve done, but we can’t.  We would love to go back in time and change many moments in our life that were less than pleasant.  All of these moments are shared by each and every one of us and yet we still make horrible assumptions.

Have you caught yourself assuming the worst about people or even the best about people?  Do you assume that what you see at first glance is all that there is?  Do you assume that there is no need to look further for facts because you know all the facts you need to know?

Am I assuming that everyone assumes way too much?  If I am assuming, is my assumption wrong? Assuming you will answer me in the comment section, will you have the courage to speak the truth about assumptions?

{{HUGS}} yall

Sharing this IS spreading joy

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