Boldly Face Tomorrow

January 4, 2012 By 8 Comments

Trials WILL come; it’s just a matter of when.

Tears WILL fall; it’s just a matter of how long.

Your Heart will break; it’s just a matter of how many pieces.

 

I understand this isn’t spreading joy, but it IS truth.

We can boldly face another day with a little preparation; after all, it is just a matter of time before we face storms and trials.

I believe I can say for certain that each one of us will face the following things:

 

Uncertainty:

You don’t know what you’ll be facing.  You don’t know what situations will arise that are beyond your control.  You don’t know about job issues, medical bills and other things.  You don’t know what you’ll be facing.  Choose to focus on the facts, not the uncertainty.  Look at the facts and allow that to help give you direction.  Sometimes all it takes is looking at things from a different view point.  Don’t allow your emotions to drive you.  Emotions are a tricky beast and can have our minds full of fear and doubt.  Even when facing uncertainty, choose to maintain a good attitude while fixing what you can and working around the rest.

 

Disappointment:

I wish that you didn’t have to face disappointments, but the truth is that you WILL face it.  Prepare for it in advance by looking for the good in the disappointment.  It’s an old saying, but still rings true today, look for the silver lining.  It’s always easier to see the negative, but if we teach ourselves to see the positive, it will get easier to find through each disappointment.  I’m not telling you to ignore your hardships, I’m simply instructing you to look beyond them at what treasure may be forming because of the hardship.

The positive things are there, you have to look for them!

 

Fear:

Fear will consume us. You’ll be so afraid to do anything, to make decisions or even just take the next step if you are not aware of just how consuming fear is.  Set your fears aside and focus on the truth of what is going on.  The truth is that YOU are strong and you will make it through this.  The truth is that you have people that care about you and will help you through it.  Focus on the truth!  Find the resources that are available and see if those will lead to more resources.   As things start to fall into place, you’ll notice the fears subsiding.  Let me encourage you to step out into the unknown.  When you do, you’ll feel the courage coursing through you and that will give you the ability to take the next step, and the next one and the next one.

 

Difficulties:

When you are facing difficulties, you don’t have to face them alone.  There are people who have been where you are and they are willing to walk with you.  There are people who have been where you are going, they will help you out!

When we face difficulties, we clam up and withdraw and then try and face them alone.  This is the time that we need to reach out so that we don’t have to battle the depression alone.    Find a friend to share your fears and difficulties with and divide the pain and in doing this, you will also double the joy you share.

When you are facing difficulties that lead to depression, may I suggest you pour yourself into “others.”  Regardless of the finances, we can all make a difference for others and that act alone will help bring deep down joy that no one or nothing can steal from you.

Here are 50 Ways to make a difference without spending a penny.  YOU can make a difference!

 

Sorrow:

Facing sorrow is not easy.  When someone is struggling, spend time with them, chat with them until they laugh.  It doesn’t take a special talent, lots of money or gifts galore.  It only takes a willing heart.  Be sensitive to others when sorrows arise.  Don’t assume someone should be over the grief they are going through.  Don’t assume someone shouldn’t be hurting “over that situation.”  We all deal with grief, pain and sorrow differently.  Be sensitive and kind to those facing sorrow.  If you are in the midst of sorrow or grief, know that it’s ok.  There is no right way to grieve.  Sometimes writing out your feelings – the good, bad and ugly is a way of releasing them.  Sometimes, it’s a matter of sharing them verbally or counseling.  Some may even need medical help.  Whatever your means of facing your sorrow, remember YOU have friends and family that will help you face them.  Don’t withdraw and try to go it alone.  That’s what WE are here for.

Regret:

This is the ONE thing we can choose NOT to face.  Regret.  Regret will break us.  The guilt of regret will weigh our hearts down and beat us.

We all have made bad decisions.

We can learn from our bad choices, we can decide that yes… I did “that” but I will NOT allow myself to be in that situation again.  Don’t let regret keep you from boldly making a change in your life.  Don’t let guilt keep you down when you are capable of doing so much for you and your family.  Don’t let regret win.  You are strong enough to use it, learn from it and then beat it.

Think about this:

If we are living in the past and worried about the future, how can we be effective today?

 

It’s simple – - – We can’t.  Choose NOT to regret.  Put those past mistakes to good use by learning from them and sharing what you’ve learned with others.

 

Emptiness:

There are times that you’ll feel empty, alone and like you don’t matter.  It’s going to happen, it is just a matter of when.  When you face this, once again I have to insist that you go on fact instead of feelings. Feelings are so tricky and emotional roller coasters are not very fun.

Here are the facts:

  • YOU Matter – Not only do you matter, but you matter a LOT.  You are the world to someone!
  • YOU Make a difference – in so many ways.  You feel as though you do nothing special and you are nothing special, but THAT is what MAKES you special.  No one can make a difference like YOU do.  NO one!
  • YOU will make if past this – and when you do, you’ll soar to new heights that you didn’t even know existed.

Use this time of empty feelings to focus on making a difference for others instead of dwelling on how you feel.  It can be as little as giving your children their favorite cereal for dinner, coloring with them in their coloring books.  It could be something like telling an older friend thank you for helping to shape our world into what it is today and taking some time to hear how they did it.  It could be something like extending patience to the cashier that is experiencing one rude customer after another.  Take your mind off of the emptiness that is flooding your heart and place your focus on those around you.  You’ll soon find the emptiness filling up with amazing JOY.

 

Overwhelmed:

Even the calmest person I know will face times when they are overwhelmed.  It’s at this point that you simply can’t afford to feel guilty for stopping and doing something for yourself.

STOP right here, pull yourself away from everything for a little bit.  Go outside, stretch and take 5 minutes to soak up the outdoors.  When you can, take an some additional time to just step away from all that is pulling at you.

If you have young children, it may need to be for 15-30 minutes after they’ve gone to bed, but STOP and do something for yourself.

It doesn’t have to be expensive, it just needs to be done and done without guilt.

Read

Write in your journal

Gaze out the window

Listen to the sound of the rain

Take a nap on the couch – set a timer so you don’t over sleep.

If you don’t pull yourself out of the situation for a little bit, it will only get worse.

 

How are you boldly facing tomorrow?  What other tips would you share with others?

 

To Hear an audio version of this, please click below:

 

 

Sharing this IS spreading joy

Filed Under: challenge, difficulties, encouraging, Spreading Joy Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Healing? Really?

December 27, 2011 By 10 Comments

Megan Dec 2011

I know what you must be thinking – it’s not real….or she didn’t mean it.

Well, I did mean it and still stand by it. Here is the post that details the event.  November 2009 was a year that Megan was healed, but something more important than her stomach and gastroparesis was healed.

Her Heart, Spirit and Will were healed.

She had been beaten down mentally by the doctors not believing us so much so that nothing mattered.  She was physically exhausted from throwing up everything. She was broken and I watched helplessly, praying and trusting God to mend what I couldn’t. He did.

A year later, her gastroparesis has flared up again. She went back on medicine and things were going well. She still dealt with daily pain, but digested her food.  Now, two years later, It’s not just sever stomach pain every time she eats, no.  She is not digesting solids at all. It’s been since before Thanksgiving since her stomach just stopped working….out of the blue.

Take your worst flu and multiply the symptoms by about 100 and that is what gastroparesis patients suffer with.

We center so much around food and eating.  It’s not noticeable until someone you love dearly is not able to enjoy eating.

She is 17 and has battled this in some fashion or another since she was 12. It was only late 2009 that we even knew what it was that she was battling.

Christmas 2011

As I look at her, wishing I could take her pain, wishing I could change places with her, my heart thinks of all the moms out there that watch their child fight cancer and other diseases.  Their strength amazes me.  Their courage amazes me.

Her strength amazes me.  She deals with this daily but is also enjoying life daily.  She struggles with being exhausted and sleeps more than most teens but still looks for and finds the blessings of the day.  She still would rather not have milkshakes, due to the fact that we are forcing them in her as it is a liquid that will stay.

Recent conversations go something like this…

No….no food today, have liquids. It needs to be a throw up free day.

You ate yesterday, you can eat next week.

My favorite was in a restaurant when the waiter asked if she was ok because she only had a tea, she replied.  I ate yesterday and get to eat on Christmas. (Christmas was a week later)

Yes, she struggles. Yes this is awful and yes – I’m afraid at times.  But, I can say YES, I’m trusting the Lord with her again…just as i did back in 2009 when so many came together to pray for a little girl they didn’t know.

So, the tests begin again. If medicine doesn’t work, if they don’t find out what caused this flare up (like gallbladder or something else) then she may have to have a pacemaker put on her stomach.

I come to you asking for your prayer for my princess.

Thank you for praying, for boldly going to the throne of grace on her behalf.

Thank you for your friendship, love and care.

You bless me.

Thank you.

To peek at a little of what Megan has endured, other than the chronic daily pain of Gastroparesis, click HERE to read her story

Sharing this IS spreading joy

Filed Under: difficulties, Megan, Spreading Joy Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sometimes

March 17, 2011 By 10 Comments

I share this with you today because we all feel this way…..sometimes.

The question is, do we stay “here” or do we make the choice to move on – out from under these feelings?

I hope when you are “here” in this state that we all “sometimes” are in, that you’ll choose to move beyond this….regardless of how slow it may be.

 

Sometimes……

Sharing this IS spreading joy

Filed Under: choices, difficulties, favorite, Poetry, Spreading Joy

Ash Wednesday

March 7, 2011 By 4 Comments

Many people have already decided what they will be giving up for Ash Wednesday.  I’d like to challenge you to look at things from a different approach.

I was chatting with Father Miles of St. Luke’s Episcopal Church over coffee a few weeks ago, discussing ways that Spreading Joy could encourage his church.  We were discussing the difficulties that we all face, the clouds that tend to hang over us, causing us to just see only the negative things that are surrounding us.  He then had the idea that for Ash Wednesday, he would challenge his people to do something a little different this year.  Instead of giving up coffee, Reese Cups, fast food or other things of that nature, that he would get them to focus on giving up negativity and replace it with JOY!

I love the idea, but as one that is always looking past the negativity and searching for joy on purpose, I know how difficult this can be.  (Wait…am I being negative right there? uggghhh!!)

Replacing the negative, discouraging and depressing thoughts and actions with positive will certainly help anyone who decides to do so.  When you are on purpose looking for the millions of little blessings that are swirling about you at any given time, you will be a much happier, positive person.  Everyone will see a noticeable difference and want to know the source of your JOY!

Not wanting anyone to fail, I suggest that you replace, replace  - replace.  If you are trying to get rid of one thing, it is always easier to do so when you replace it with something better.  Tell me, what is better than true joy from deep within?  We can’t always change the circumstances that brings the black cloud of despair over us and try to keep us down, but we can make a choice about staying “in” the negativity or moving past it.

I was speaking with a co-worker about Lent and giving up things for these 40 days today.  She said that she will fast from something that will move her closer to God, such as gossip.  She doesn’t think that giving up coffee or Reese Cups would be wrong, but for her, personally – she wanted something that would help her to build her relationship with the Lord.

What are you giving up?  Will you join others in giving up negativity and replace it with JOY, happiness, contentment and pure delight?  Do you think this will be easy to do? Why or why not?  If you fall short one day, will you keep going or will you simply give up?

I pray your cup overflows with unspeakable joy for these next 40 days and beyond!

{{{HUGS}}}} yall

 

PS

I’ll have the honor of speaking and encouraging the members at St. Luke’s on Sunday 3/14.  I hope you’ll click the link and check out this gorgeous Church.

 

Sharing this IS spreading joy

Filed Under: challenge, choices, difficulties, encouraging, Spreading Joy Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Six Months

February 20, 2011 By 6 Comments

July 11, 2003 One of the Last Pictures of Me with my Dad

I didn’t know it at the time but on February 20th, 2003 (or so) – I would hear news that would forever change my life. It was an honor actually, but when I was hearing it, I felt it was anything but an honor.

I was with my Dad at the hospital when the cardiologist came in to see him that morning. I knew my time with my Dad was limited, but what I was about to hear pierced through my heart like a dagger.

“John, if there is anything you want to do, do it now.” I looked at the doctor and simply uttered “excuse me?”

The doctor went on to explain that my Dad’s heart was only functioning at 13% or so and that it would not last more than 6 months at the very most. He told my Dad to do what he wanted to do, have what he wanted to have and take this time to get things in order. My body was numb, my heart was in shock.  I remember wanting to cry out that 35 years is not enough time to spend with him. I had leaned up against the wall, to steady myself and the doctor asked me to step outside. He informed me that with my Dad’s diabetes, that the sore on his foot would not heal and would contribute to his death as well – painfully so. He assured me that when the time come, he would call hospice in and make “it” as painless as possible. My heart agonized over the fact that I would not be able to stop this, that I would not be able to stop the pain and I would have to spend each and every moment with him that I could.

The doctor asked me if I was OK, and I simply nodded. We went back inside the room and he informed us that he’d be in there another day. The doctor left, I sat on the edge of the bed, wondering what was running through my Dad’s heart. As I sat there, numb, my Dad spoke…asking me “Well, Daughter…..what do you think?”  I immediately looked at him, eyeball to eyeball.  Here I was wondering about him…and HE was wondering about me.  Unbelievable.  I kept looking at him and said “I think I’m going to miss you soooooo much.” I sat quietly on the bed with him for a little bit.  Gently crying because I didn’t want to upset him to much, but there was no way I could hold in the tears.

Again, at the time, I didn’t consider being with him to receive that kind of news an honor, but now I know beyond doubt that it was a priceless gift that I would not trade for the world.

Not everyone gets a six month warning to get their affairs straight, do what they want to do, see whom they want to see and so on. But he almost did. I had the difficult task to start making the calls. To tell my sister and brothers and step mom what I had just found out. I wanted anyone that wanted to see him, hug him and tell him just how special he was to have the chance to do so and time was of the essence.

As Dad got weaker, I moved in to help take care of him. I organized my work schedule to where I would work in the late afternoons or at night and help Angie take care of him during the day. I slept when he did and enjoyed many midnight egg sandwiches with him. It never bothered me that he could only eat a bite of the sandwich.

You may wonder why I’m sharing this with you. My Dad didn’t get the full six months. He died on July 20th, 2003. We made sure that he laughed every chance he could and sometimes he simply laughed because he caught me and Angie “discussing things” between “ourselves” and we had NO clue he was awake.  We made sure that anyone that wanted to see him had the chance and we all had time with him to tell him just how much he meant to us. I asked several times if there was anything he wanted and no matter what it was, I’d make sure he had it. Even though he was at the point nothing much would stay down when it came to food.

If you found out that you only had six months, what would you do? Who would you see? What calls would you make?

My next question is WHY would you wait until you only have six months? Start doing what you want to do. You have life dreams! Start on them. No matter how slowly you think you may be accomplishing them, start on them NOW. One of my dreams is to visit all 50 states. When we look at vacations, we look at a state we have not been to. Make the list and start chipping away at it. One of my dreams is to publish a book.  In all of the spare time that I do not have, I’m slooooooowly chipping away at it.  Work on those dreams NOW.

Schedule a visit with those that you have not seen and make those calls. We live in a period where it’s easier now than ever to keep up with people we adore. Send the email, send the ecard or send the paper card. Tell those that are special to you just how special they are. Don’t wait until you find out that you don’t have much time left.

Do it now.

Six months is not long. Before we know it Christmas will be here again and it’s only February.

Work towards your dreams
Plan the visit
Make the call
Give the hugs freely

Say I love you.  Say it again.  Say it once more.

Do it now, don’t wait.

Tell me, what are some of your dreams you are working on.

Did you make the phone call, plan the visit or give the extra hugs?  I hope so, I truly do!

{{{{HUGS}}}} yall

Sharing this IS spreading joy

Filed Under: choices, difficulties, encouraging, motivation, simple, Spreading Joy Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

WHY

January 5, 2011 By 8 Comments

Why do we want what we cannot have

Why do we reach for what we can’t possibly get

Why do our hearts take us where our head knows we shouldn’t go

Why do we run towards trouble

Why do we have to be prodded to do right

Why is “IT” never enough

Why does the darkness bring pain

Why does yesterday seem to be forever ago

Why does tomorrow never come

Why does opportunity only knock once

Why does a grain of a mustard seed seem so HUGE

Why does today slip away unnoticed

Why does the sun not warm through the bitter cold

Why does “IT” matter to them

Why do we care what “they” think

Why do we feel like 100% is not as good as 120%

Why do we see the good in others before we see the great in ourselves

Why does it matter anyway

Why……

Sharing this IS spreading joy

Filed Under: challenge, choices, difficulties, Poetry, Spreading Joy Tagged With: , , , ,

How I see YOU

December 20, 2010 By 11 Comments

Do You see What I See

I love speaking to ladies groups, kids and just encouraging others.  I’m hoping to do more of it in this next year.

I recently had the privilege of speaking to some wonderful ladies that have been or are in a local Battered Women’s shelter.  I spent the week thinking about some of what they may have endured, what they probably tried to do for them, their children and to bring peace to their home and focused on how those events made me see them.

Here is how I see these ladies.

YOU ARE:

BEAUTIFUL – Your beauty comes from deep within.  Nothing or no one can ever destroy it.  When you gaze into the mirror, look past the surface, go deeper….deeper still.  That beauty that is deep within you is ready to bubble up and gush out!  Let it bubble up and out freely.  Our physical beauty is limited, but the beauty that is deep within our soul outshines and out lasts the physical and has a positive effect on all of those around us! YOU are beautiful!

COURAGEOUS – Yes, YOU!  You lived in fear, you live with fear and have many fearful moments ahead of you, but look back with me a moment.  Look at how far you’ve come.  The courage you’ve shown to get out of the abusive situation and into something better is nothing short of amazing.  You’ll continue to move past the fears, move past the doubts and other horrors you face daily that will try and hold you back.  Your heart may tremble, your hands shake but you won’t let that stop you.  You can do this as YOU are courageous!

STRONG – You are strong! You’ve endured abuse that others can’t possibly imagine, and that takes strength.  You’ve tried to fix things, make things better and be the right kind of gal but that was never the issue.  You then stepped out, with children in tow and are working towards a better future. The strength it takes to be a single mom, to ease their fears, to show them what is right and good is unbelievable.  You are strong, you fight through difficulties, you fight to survive and you’ll push past the barriers that try and hold you down.  You will make it! YOU are strong!

WISE – Yes, I said wise!  Don’t sell yourself short.  We all make mistakes, we all make decisions that we wish we could take back and moments we wish we could order up a “do-over”!  Look at you! You are moving forward, learning and making things better. You are doing the right things right now! Don’t look back at the mistakes, unless you are choosing to grow and learn from them!  Hear me….YOU are wise.

CARING – You have amazing hearts!  You care so much.  That’s why you tried to work things out, why you sacrifice for your children, that’s why you are the wonderful person that you are.  Your heart is huge for others and you want to make a difference and believe me you DO!  YOU are caring!

PERSISTENT – You put one foot in front of the other each and every day.  I’m sure there are days where you feel like throwing up your hands and saying “what is the use”, but you move forward anyway.  You grow tired from the struggle, but you get out of bed and face the day.  You wonder about tomorrow, next month and next year, but you keep looking, hoping and knowing that the future is there, waiting on you to grab it up with both arms, embracing all the wonderful things that are waiting you.  You keep trying, learning and going! You push yourselves as well as push your children! YOU are persistent.

IMPORTANT – YES – YOU!!!  You make a difference every day!  You bring smiles, warm hearts with big hugs. You encourage, motivate and teach.  You give hope to little eyes that wonder about a million things a day and love to hearts that need it.  You are important to today and the next generation.  The great things that you are doing today, will have a huge impact on tomorrow and the future.  YOU are important.

CAPABLE – YOU can do this!  It is so easy to look and see the negative, see where we feel like we have failed and think we just can’t do it.  We don’t have to teach our children to see the negative, but we do have to teach them to see the positive, do what is right and look for opportunities to make a difference.  Use those negative things that creep into your mind, trying to make you feel horrible to remind yourself that you’ve learned from that. You’ve come a long way from that point and you are not going back, simply because you don’t have to.  Use the past to remind yourself that you are capable of moving forward, doing whatever it is you set your mind on doing.  YOU are capable.

ADAPTIVE – This is so important and you excel at it!  Think with me for a moment.  You knew when you had to keep the kids quiet, when you could let loose and enjoy the laughter in your hearts. You knew when “he” was home that certain things had to be done a certain way and you adapted.  When he wasn’t around, you lived, loved, laughed and adapted to that as well.  This is a priceless ability for when the storms of life are raining down on you.  This ability will serve you for years to come as you face the mountains in your way and your initial thought is for the mountain to “swallow me up, I can’t face you.”  You will adapt time and time again! YOU are adaptive.

SENSITIVE – Your hearts are tender and it grows stronger every day.  You’ve seen situations that many have not had to see, much less endure.  This has made you even more sensitive than most.  You can see the sadness in the eyes of a child quicker than most and know how to turn that frown upside down. You can see the loneliness oozing from the hearts of others and know that a simple hug and smile will help to ease that pain.  Because of this sensitivity, you have an opportunity to make dark days brighter; you have the chance to be the light at the end of the tunnel.  You can shine brighter than you ever thought possible.  YOU are sensitive.

SPECTACULAR – YOU are beyond awesome!  You have a huge heart, a loving spirit and the willingness to fight through whatever comes your way. You don’t ask for much, yet are willing to give all for your child.  You will take lesser portions, step in front of physical harm and remind your child that tenderness will get you further than being demanding and hateful.  You amaze me at the courage, strength and abilities you have to make it through each day. YOU are spectacular.

These attributes are evident in all of us if we look deep enough.  We tend to stop just short of the surface because that is what society is teaching us to do.  We need to look past the surface.  We need to look at the things that matter, which is far more than physical features.

It is my desire that as you step into a new year that you’ll be more aware of these wonderful qualities about you.  I hope that you’ll focus on the positive and grow from the negative. As you look at yourself, I hope that you’ll see all of these wonderful things in a wonderful new light this year – and always.

{{HUGS}} yall

Sharing this IS spreading joy

Filed Under: choices, difficulties, happiness, passion, Spreading Joy Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
« Older Posts