Trials WILL come; it’s just a matter of when.
Tears WILL fall; it’s just a matter of how long.
Your Heart will break; it’s just a matter of how many pieces.
I understand this isn’t spreading joy, but it IS truth.
We can boldly face another day with a little preparation; after all, it is just a matter of time before we face storms and trials.
I believe I can say for certain that each one of us will face the following things:
Uncertainty:
You don’t know what you’ll be facing. You don’t know what situations will arise that are beyond your control. You don’t know about job issues, medical bills and other things. You don’t know what you’ll be facing. Choose to focus on the facts, not the uncertainty. Look at the facts and allow that to help give you direction. Sometimes all it takes is looking at things from a different view point. Don’t allow your emotions to drive you. Emotions are a tricky beast and can have our minds full of fear and doubt. Even when facing uncertainty, choose to maintain a good attitude while fixing what you can and working around the rest.
Disappointment:
I wish that you didn’t have to face disappointments, but the truth is that you WILL face it. Prepare for it in advance by looking for the good in the disappointment. It’s an old saying, but still rings true today, look for the silver lining. It’s always easier to see the negative, but if we teach ourselves to see the positive, it will get easier to find through each disappointment. I’m not telling you to ignore your hardships, I’m simply instructing you to look beyond them at what treasure may be forming because of the hardship.
The positive things are there, you have to look for them!
Fear:
Fear will consume us. You’ll be so afraid to do anything, to make decisions or even just take the next step if you are not aware of just how consuming fear is. Set your fears aside and focus on the truth of what is going on. The truth is that YOU are strong and you will make it through this. The truth is that you have people that care about you and will help you through it. Focus on the truth! Find the resources that are available and see if those will lead to more resources. As things start to fall into place, you’ll notice the fears subsiding. Let me encourage you to step out into the unknown. When you do, you’ll feel the courage coursing through you and that will give you the ability to take the next step, and the next one and the next one.
Difficulties:
When you are facing difficulties, you don’t have to face them alone. There are people who have been where you are and they are willing to walk with you. There are people who have been where you are going, they will help you out!
When we face difficulties, we clam up and withdraw and then try and face them alone. This is the time that we need to reach out so that we don’t have to battle the depression alone. Find a friend to share your fears and difficulties with and divide the pain and in doing this, you will also double the joy you share.
When you are facing difficulties that lead to depression, may I suggest you pour yourself into “others.” Regardless of the finances, we can all make a difference for others and that act alone will help bring deep down joy that no one or nothing can steal from you.
Here are 50 Ways to make a difference without spending a penny. YOU can make a difference!
Sorrow:
Facing sorrow is not easy. When someone is struggling, spend time with them, chat with them until they laugh. It doesn’t take a special talent, lots of money or gifts galore. It only takes a willing heart. Be sensitive to others when sorrows arise. Don’t assume someone should be over the grief they are going through. Don’t assume someone shouldn’t be hurting “over that situation.” We all deal with grief, pain and sorrow differently. Be sensitive and kind to those facing sorrow. If you are in the midst of sorrow or grief, know that it’s ok. There is no right way to grieve. Sometimes writing out your feelings – the good, bad and ugly is a way of releasing them. Sometimes, it’s a matter of sharing them verbally or counseling. Some may even need medical help. Whatever your means of facing your sorrow, remember YOU have friends and family that will help you face them. Don’t withdraw and try to go it alone. That’s what WE are here for.
Regret:
This is the ONE thing we can choose NOT to face. Regret. Regret will break us. The guilt of regret will weigh our hearts down and beat us.
We all have made bad decisions.
We can learn from our bad choices, we can decide that yes… I did “that” but I will NOT allow myself to be in that situation again. Don’t let regret keep you from boldly making a change in your life. Don’t let guilt keep you down when you are capable of doing so much for you and your family. Don’t let regret win. You are strong enough to use it, learn from it and then beat it.
Think about this:
If we are living in the past and worried about the future, how can we be effective today?
It’s simple – - – We can’t. Choose NOT to regret. Put those past mistakes to good use by learning from them and sharing what you’ve learned with others.
Emptiness:
There are times that you’ll feel empty, alone and like you don’t matter. It’s going to happen, it is just a matter of when. When you face this, once again I have to insist that you go on fact instead of feelings. Feelings are so tricky and emotional roller coasters are not very fun.
Here are the facts:
- YOU Matter – Not only do you matter, but you matter a LOT. You are the world to someone!
- YOU Make a difference – in so many ways. You feel as though you do nothing special and you are nothing special, but THAT is what MAKES you special. No one can make a difference like YOU do. NO one!
- YOU will make if past this – and when you do, you’ll soar to new heights that you didn’t even know existed.
Use this time of empty feelings to focus on making a difference for others instead of dwelling on how you feel. It can be as little as giving your children their favorite cereal for dinner, coloring with them in their coloring books. It could be something like telling an older friend thank you for helping to shape our world into what it is today and taking some time to hear how they did it. It could be something like extending patience to the cashier that is experiencing one rude customer after another. Take your mind off of the emptiness that is flooding your heart and place your focus on those around you. You’ll soon find the emptiness filling up with amazing JOY.
Overwhelmed:
Even the calmest person I know will face times when they are overwhelmed. It’s at this point that you simply can’t afford to feel guilty for stopping and doing something for yourself.
STOP right here, pull yourself away from everything for a little bit. Go outside, stretch and take 5 minutes to soak up the outdoors. When you can, take an some additional time to just step away from all that is pulling at you.
If you have young children, it may need to be for 15-30 minutes after they’ve gone to bed, but STOP and do something for yourself.
It doesn’t have to be expensive, it just needs to be done and done without guilt.
Read
Write in your journal
Gaze out the window
Listen to the sound of the rain
Take a nap on the couch – set a timer so you don’t over sleep.
If you don’t pull yourself out of the situation for a little bit, it will only get worse.
How are you boldly facing tomorrow? What other tips would you share with others?
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