Everyone has a secret…
I love Post Secrets. Like the secrets we hide in our hearts, there are good ones, bad ones and everything in between. If you have never heard of Post Secrets, this site is a collection of post cards that people have mailed in, releasing their secrets. This site is updated with new secrets weekly. Many of them make me smile – as not all secrets are bad. Then there are those that make me think or wonder. But then you have some that just break your heart.
Tonight, one secret did just that, broke my heart.
When I read the secret above, I wanted to reach out and wrap my arms around this person and whisper to their heart:
YOU are not useless…YOU matter
There are so many people that struggle with this. One thing I’ve noticed with nearly everyone of them is that they truly matter a lot. The trouble is that the people they are around are not the squishy hugs, you matter to me kind of emotional people. If they were, the person who sent in this secret and those that feel this way would know beyond a doubt that they truly do matter. Some people simply struggle with this just because their heart is fighting a battle that many of us can’t even begin to imagine.
What can we learn from this secret?
- The people we are around MATTER and need to know it! Tell them. Do not assume they know it.
- Everyone wants and needs to matter. We all do. We need to make a difference. Why else do little toddlers hand little yellow “weeds” to us and we validate that?
- Many feel useless needlessly. It doesn’t cost us a single cent to hug someone important to us and tell them that they matter.
- Something so small, is actually HUGE in our lives. Amazing how far a little affirmation goes isn’t it?
- The negative things we hear stay with us far longer than the positive. Keep reinforcing the positive.
- The old rhyme we all said as a child is a lie – Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Words not only hurt us, but often times break us. Choose them wisely.
- Put it in writing! That card or letter letting someone know that they made a difference in you will likely be read and re-read time and time again.
- When you see someone or leave someone give those big squishy hugs! They matter too. Don’t be in a hurry to let go quickly. Enjoy the moment!
- When our hearts are screaming in pain, our minds simply do not remember the difference that we’ve made. Keep pictures or something that will jog our memory.
- If you make someone smile….at anytime EVER – you are NOT useless. Period! Times are tough, things are hard – smiles are priceless.
- Fearlessly be YOURSELF! We need you to be you – not who you think we want you to be. Y O U – because you are amazing!
- Look around. Have you told those that matter to you, that they matter?
- Take stock in your own heart….do you KNOW that you matter and are NOT useless? YOU matter!
- What would you tell someone that feels like they are useless. Please encourage others and share your thoughts in the comments below.
© 2011, Spreading Joy. All rights reserved.
Dear Marie,
God is beautiful. Isn’t he ? He knew I needed this message today. The Article written by you touches my heart at its core. My life is going through a stage when I needed to know that I matter. Because being lonely on the path to reclaim your life can sometimes make you feel useless to the world. I know how it feels.
Sometimes the people very near to us, like our Parents or children or brothers and sisters, leave us no choice but to think in this way. We start judging ourselves according to what they do to us. They don’t need us then fine, no problemo, there are almost 6 billion people in the world to choose from.. MANY need us ..we Would MATTER for MILLIONS if we wish to come forward and be in their lives…. We MATTER !! because WE EXIST !!
yea maybe we dont have money as much as they do… we might not be as smart as many people are ! But we do EXIST as they do !! and EXISTENCE or LIFE is the most Valuable thing we can have !
Thank You for this beautiful Article Marie…
Much Love and Blessings,
~ Woody
LUV this, Marie! LUV it.
I just wish certain people out there, those that make big deals over things I say, realized that I wasn’t stating what I’d said ‘negatively’ as they claim. I wish, they realized that … *I* matter. I wish, they realized that … I *know* THEY matter, too. The ‘sad’ truth is… some people take things I say wrong. Sometimes quite wrong. They then reply, negatively, clearly claiming I said/implied something I never did. I then become ‘extremely angry’ … and it all ends up worse. Worse than I never meant it to be and they made it to be.
Very true… words CAN hurt. I’ve stated that it’s important to choose words carefully as well. I always do my best to ‘practice what I preach’ and choose my words the best I possibly can. Occasionally, it depends on the topic.
Hi Marie
You have taught me so much in the last
couple months about me and how much
I’ve to give and I much I matter.
So now I’ve started passing it on to others
that I see are down. I give them a heart ti
heart talk and tell them that I do care and
they matter to me. I all ways make sure I
end with saying if you need me any time
I’m here for you and I give a big hugs.
It is like I notice Nisha hasn’t been getting
comments to her blog or any one giving to
her clean water project. So I’ve been leaving
comment to encourage her and keep up the
good work.
You know it like when I went to the doctors
the other day even throw I got good news
my blood work was all fine. I got bad news
and I’m not letting it get me down. There people
who is worse off than me doing amazing things.
It is like when the kids get older and some just
don’t like the hugs or any thing. I can say my family
love hugs and love saying I love you. The other day
I surprised our son he 22 I walked over and gave him
a big old hug and told him I love you. He gave me one
back and said I love you to mom.
bonnie (@bonnie67) recently posted..Love is six parts giving and one part talk
@Woody, i’m getting ready to go home from the beach and always…as I walk along the ocean noticing the zillions of shells that look the same are cracked and such – I always think how precious we are to God, even though there are billions of us…like the shells. I’m thankful that you were around last night to see that, right when you needed it. My prayers are with you.
@Brian words are so powerful, but we often forget that it’s not how we say them, a lot of times where our “own hearts” are affect what we hear. We can hear someone’s opinion and be devastated by it because of the horrific events that have been coming our way. Sometimes there is just no control over how someone “hears” what we say.
@Bonnie you do so much for others and help others. You have one of the biggest hearts ever. I’m sorry for the bad news you received recently. I will continue to pray for you as I know that you have a lot going on and that you take care of so much. YOU make a difference to so many and I pray strength from the Lord for you to do so.
Thanks guys – you matter sooo much!! always remember that.
{{HUGS}}
@spreadingJOY
Your awesomeness NEVER fails, Marie!
Marie,
L?ve this post! L?ve everything you said! So many struggle with feeling useless and other negative thoughts and myself being one. And it doesn’t help when you are surrounded by people that only put you down. Like you said words not only hurts us but they break us! Words can cut so deep! But thankfully we have a God that comforts us!
I try my best to encourage others and what I would tell someone that feels their useless is… You are special, beautiful, loved, valuable, worthy, and treasured! There are things that only you can do and God created you for a special purpose that only you can fulfill. You are HIS beloved child! NEVER EVER forget that!
Angie recently posted..In the Midst of Adversity
…I had put hearts in for the O in Love…don’t why it came up as question marks…LOL
Angie recently posted..In the Midst of Adversity
This is a great post, Marie! Thanks for the reminder.
Sandy Sandmeyer recently posted..Never Beyond: Questioning Beliefs
It’s very true – even if someone knows, they may be struggling with something that makes it hard for them to remember. It doesn’t take a lot – but it does take seeing, and appreciating what’s being done for YOU. If someone’s a joy in your life, if they’re your rock, if they always make you laugh….SAY it. Great post!
This clip from the show Fringe is a beautiful demonstration of affirmation.
“You have no idea how extraordinary you are.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCvJFXj8HEc
Love the reminder.. It really is a basic need of all of us… to know that we matter. Never hurts to tell someone else. Thanks for the reminder!
Jonathan Pearson recently posted..#Linsanity – Determination, Hard Work, & Seizing Opportunity
Obrigada pelas mensagens, você é maravihosa e importante pra mim, desde que começei o desafio de 30 dias, eu sinto como se descobrisse um grande segredo que estava na minha frente o tempo todo e eu não via, o quanto é simples espalhar alegria e o quanto isso nos faz bem, eu estou passando por circunstâncias dificeis um tempo de oposição, e me sentia deprimida, lutando pela alegria e encontrei voce! agora eu tenho conciencia de que estou fazendo o possivel para espalhar alegria e estou feliz! o impossivel Deus faz! e Voce fez e faz a diferença em minha vida!
@Jonathan – thank you! its such a simple thing really – that is why i love hugs so much! they instantly tell others that they matter! 🙂
@brady – thank you for that! i had not seen it!
@lydia – when we struggle we do forget. the struggle overpowers our hearts and tends to make us forget
@Sandy – thank you!!
@angie – soo true. we’ve got to tell others!
thanks yall for stopping by and commenting! you are a true blessing! YOU matter!!
Marie recently posted..Shine for HIM
Really enjoyed this post!! As someone who deals with chronic illness and disability, it’s so easy to feel useless in today’s society. What a buoy it was to my spirit to read your words. Truly inspired, thank you!
Shelly Hendricks recently posted..Lift Your Head
Thank you Shelly for the kind comment.
Chronic pain and illness are so overlooked and misunderstood in todays society. But even with that day in and day out battle, you can still make a difference. I just want to be a persistant – constant voice that says – YOU matter and you CAN make a difference.
Please always know that no matter “what” it is that you do for anyone else….it is HUGE and it matters!
Thanks for impacting others for good!
{{HUGS}} @spreadingJOY
Marie recently posted..Celebrate Life
My Mom is 77 and has had 3 strokes. Recently she had a vein graft put in her leg due to blood clots and it failed. She is in horrible pain when she walks but still makes her bed, puts in a load of laundry and loads and unloads the dishwasher because it makes her feel useful. As we get older, or when we have some sort of disability people tend to look down on or think that we don’t matter anymore, but the thing is, we will all be there one day. So love them like there’s no tomorrow because God has only given us today and I want her to know that she still matters, that she’s important and that she’s loved by a Mighty God. Thank you for the encouragement, appreciate prayers for her. ????
praying for you all